Texts I Wish I Had The Courage To Send

(i) Thank you for randomly calling me last night, even though me picking up the phone only had a 10% chance. I didn't say it, but I needed to talk to someone.


(ii) No, I don't want to help you with this assignment, especially when that's the only time you bother to make a conversation with me.


(iii) It hurts when you don't bother responding to my texts for days on end, and when I'm compelled to call you after weeks of you ghosting me, you pretend like nothing ever happened.


(iv) People like you made every minute of college the memory of a lifetime. I just want to hug you guys and cry for hours about losing our final year together to the pandemic.



(v) No matter what I do for you, no matter what a perfect version of myself I try to become, it's never going to be enough for you, is it?


(vi) I don't want you to say "goodnight" back. I want you to stay. I need you to get through this night that seems like it'll consume me. But you won't realize my heart needs you, and my mind doesn't let me say it out loud.


(vii) I want to go back to the time when my entire school life revolved around you, because our friendship was simpler then, and so were our lives.


(viii) I wore my best outfit, spent 20 minutes doing the perfect eyeliner, and skipped a 2-hour lecture for some alone time with you. It sucked that you blew me off within 3 minutes to go hang out with the "hottie" you had your eyes on for the last 1 week.



(ix) You're not the problem. The reason I can't trust you is that someone else stole my heart in the past & shattered it into a million pieces.


(x) It wasn't okay that you walked out on our friendship even when I tried hard to fight for you. I wanted you to fight for me too.


(xi) I'm sorry I couldn't be the one who could love you enough to make your problems go away. I didn't say it because I didn't want to hurt you, but I could never bring myself to love you. Believe me, I tried.


(xii) I am eternally grateful to you for loving me the way that you do. I can never lose you, I just can't, because you make me hate myself a little less each day.


By Aashvi Shah

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